The New Melting Pot
To start with I notice people walking into the studio a half an hour before the class started as I was just warming up on the treadmill. After 10 minutes of watching people walk in, I got a little impulsed to see what was happening inside so I walked in to claim my bike in the back where I hoped to go unnoticed. I suppose it was just a popular instructor because all but two bikes were taken more than 5 minutes before the class was even supposed to start. As I stretched on my bike and looked around at who all these people were, I immediately stared everyone down like they were my competition. I completely prejudged everybody that was in that studio but I think I'm a pretty good judge of character, so here are my findings.......
To start with, the instructor was pushing on 300 lbs, straight muscle of course, kind of looked like an ex-UFC fighter, who just might have taken a quick a shot of some sort of enhancer because I have never seen anybody so pumped up and bouncing off walls since I went to Peter Piper Pizza for a kids birthday party. The kiss ass, brown noser, early 30's gal with frizzy hair who pulled her bike right next to the instructor so she would face the whole class, clearly had been made fun of all through her childhood and sitting right next to the instructor made her feel slightly warm and fuzzy inside. She's definitely been single for most of her adult life because the way her hair flailed all over and how she bopped up and down on the bike, she definitely wished that it wasn't a bike she was riding on. As much as I could not stand this chick, it did take my mind off the grueling workout and let me ponder on what had happened in her life to have lead her in this direction that an hour packed endorphin session would make her so happy.
Right next to the brown noser was Pat. I'll leave it at that, pretty sure a girl but even with my contacts in, questionable. Then, what did we have next? Obviously, the girl that only came to the class to hit on the instructor so she had to sit next to Pat because it made her feel prettier. She didn't sweat once during class, but she looked the part, you know, sportsbra, tight shorts, blonde hair done just right with the color coordinating headband. Again, obviously single because she figured a trendy gym membership is a lot better dating service than getting on match.com or going to the local pub everyday.
After her you had a few of us normal people. I don't have to go much into us because we're boring. We are just your 9-5er's that like to drink too many on a day to day basis and hate exercising, so going to a spin class with loud music and no lights on can at least make us think that we are not really at a gym. You also always have your couples at the class where the guy dresses extra macho because his girlfriend made him go to the spin class. This guy made sure he only pulled his shirt up on the side that had his bicep tattoo so everyone could see. And during the times we had to peddle super hard, he just cruised because he didn't want anyone to think that he really worked that hard during a spin class.
There is also that girl that comes to every single class 10 minutes late, I'm sure it's probably because of her job, but regardless always comes in exactly 10 minutes after the class starts. And not only does she come in late, but she likes to take the closest open bike to the front so everyone can see she's arrived. She is the anorexic girl that looks like Amy Winehouse but choses to wear her long, thick, gnarly hair down with a diamondy clip to pull her bangs back. What? Exactly what I'm thinking.
Then next to me, you had this lady that hated more than anything that she was going through menopause because she actually had to bring her own personal fan and clip it to her bike to prevent herself from overheating. Not only that, but you could tell she was a badass bitch in her 20's because she wore this bandana and her outfit was tight. She knew she once had all the boys and she still wanted everyone to know that. Plus she kind of tried to flirt with the instructor once or twice so that also gave her away; she would have definitely been considered a cougar 10 years ago and I didn't notice a wedding ring so she actually still might be one.
Before I wrap this up, I definitely have to tell you about the guy that threw everything off. I want to call him the Asian Cholo. He walked into class and kind of checked the place out with a slow, "do I want to be in this room right now?" kind of look. He wore slightly baggy jeans, a sweatshirt over a long T-shirt that stuck out underneath. I think one of the girls thought he might have been part of the janitorial team because she asked him to grab a towel off of another bike. I actually thought he may have been a janitor too until he approached a bike pretty close to me, took his shoes off and slowly unzipped his jeans while taking a good look at everybody that was in the room. I'm thinking "WTF, is this guy practicing for his night job, or is this actually happening?" And what do you know, he slowly pulled his jeans off to reveal his bike shorts underneath. The show did not stop there. He decided to hold his T-shirt down while he pulled off his sweatshirt, then he gave his hair a slight little shake.....yes, just like in the movies. He folded his sweatshirt and then pulled his T-shirt off to reveal a tight Nylon/Spandex blend Under Armour tank top. Unbelieveable, I know, I just can't make this stuff up.
Then my favorite was the super skinny gay guy that sat in the front seat in the corner. He definitely loved being flamboyant and had come up with crazy dance moves that I did not know were possible while being on a bike. He was overly enthusiastic about the class and clapped really loud when the instructor started to clap and sang really loud when the Madonna song came on; he's the fun gay guy that doesn't try to grab all of the attention like Sally Kiss Ass, but actually does.
I'm pretty sure I had noticed this before during my other spin classes but it wasn't until all of the token characters decided to come out during this class that I clearly saw what was happening here......You want to see the New Melting Pot of America - just find your local spin class. If I were a politician, I would definitely make sure I attended every spin class possible (just show up a half an hour early so you can start campaigning before the loud music starts). Thought I was on to something so I wanted to share......So Barack, Hillary, John - stop spending all that money on stupid TV ads - just go down to the local gyms.
The Greek Goddess
Don't want to do it yourself - go to the Home Depot!
First let me start with the Mexicans at Home Depot. Quick clarification; not all people of Latino descent are Mexican. But since most white educated Caucasians think all Hispanics at Home Depot are Mexican, I will just call them Mexican as well to not confuse too many of you.
The first time I decided to partake of this true open labor market was back when I was making a move from an apartment in the San Gabriel Valley to a small home. I was not the biggest fan of moving and loathed the idea of having to carry heavy stuff. Not that it was beneath me, I just didn’t want to do it, and at this time in my life I was not in the financial position to hire a moving company (the $80 to rent a U-haul was already hurting my pocketbook). I had heard about people using Mexicans from Home Depot's parking lot for certain jobs. Now I'm not going to lie, I had never done this and was a bit scared, but I figured this was as good a time as ever to try it. I told my then girlfriend, acting as if I did this all the time, that I was going to the Home Depot to get a couple of Mexicans to help with the move. Her reaction was expected given the fact that she had come from a prominent white family from a small town in the south. She did claim to have experience with minorities (she loved telling everybody how there were a ton of black people that went to her high school and college), but this was way beyond how progressive she claimed to be. Her argument was initially disguised under the law - "you know it’s illegal to hire Mexicans for work". The real issue, although I was Mexican, was that she was not comfortable with this type of Mexican being so close to us - in my house, grabbing our things, knowing where we live, knowing what we had, riding in the car, etc. I am not taking the moral high road. The same concerns crossed my mind and probably would have been worse if it was another ethnicity we were dealing with, but these were my people. It was either I try it or I have to do the work myself and remember I’m lazy (I’m Mexican) so I decided to ignore the concerns and drive to Home Depot.
I had heard about how to do it, I had seen it on T.V., I even tried to research how to do it on the Internet - this couldn't be that hard. I showed up at Home Depot in the City of Industry and I saw a ton of Mexicans, some in the store, some in their cars, and then the ones I was looking for at the back end of the parking lot. An interesting crowd; hanging around in groups, eating tacos, drinking a beer or two. Once they figured out that I was looking for them, it turned a bit crazy. They started chasing me, whistling, waving – maybe my girlfriend was right. This was intimidating (I'm glad I came alone, my girlfriend would have freaked), but finally I rolled down the window and yelled "necesito dos personas para ayudarme con una mudanza!" (I need two guys for help with a move!) Sure enough before I knew it three guys jumped into the back of my car, they argued for a few seconds and eliminated the third guy. I quickly took off hoping not to get arrested (I mean this was illegal).
On the drive back to the apartment we introduced each other and negotiated the going rate. Even though I ‘m white, I am Mexican so this conversation was in Spanish (or Mexican as some people call it here). I unfortunately do not remember the specifics of these gentlemen's backgrounds, but after doing this several times, the stories I hear are eerily similar. They are mostly from southern states in Mexico, have been in the U.S. several years, and spend every single day feverously looking for work. At the end of each week they take what they need from their earnings to survive (rent, food and the more than occasional Bud Lite Tall Boy Two Pack from the AM.PM) and send the rest home to family members in Mexico that they have not seen in years. I asked them what they charge for the work. There answer was and always is, "No importa, lo que guste." (It doesn't matter whatever you feel is fair). I always try to pay them double what they normally make. My dad is also a white Mexican that actually still lives in Mexico because he was more than successful there and has always paid our housekeepers almost double what they would make somewhere else. Its funny how we have had two people work at our home in Mexico for over 20 years and they have never stolen from us and always go out of there way to go the extra mile in terms of their work. Hmmm, interesting - not all Mexican maids steal. So having learned from my father, I decided to offer these guys $50 bucks each for 2 hours of work plus a couple of beers (it was hot that day and I don't like drinking alone).
I won't get into the details of the result of their work; all I will say is that in less than 2 hours we were all drinking beers and all my stuff was in my new home. Due to that performance, my girlfriend at the time was always the first to suggest getting the Mexicans at Home Depot to handle any jobs that came up. I'm glad that this experience not only opened my eyes to what these guys were all about, but also expanded her eyes to see that not all Mexicans are lazy and just like to take siestas. I think she had gained some of that stereotype from my behavior - I love siestas.
Since then, I have become a huge advocate of the labor resource available at Home Depot. It truly is the only open labor market in the U.S. There are no outside influences, no government regulation, no unions, and no minimum wages; just supply and demand of manual labor. There are days that these guys will ask for more and days that they’ll do the work for less, just depending on the demand - A true Republican’s dream. I don’t know much about politics, but I wonder why then a big portion of the Republican Party is fighting to build the wall. On the other hand, I come in and mess it all up because I always pay more than market rate. I guess that’s the democrat in me. Who knows what I am? – maybe as this blog progresses, you all might be able to help me with that. Hell, I might even vote this year.
Although this labor pool is a great resource; I always come across shock when I mention it to people for the first time. It happened with my current girlfriend, the Greek Goddess, who initially was a bit skeptical, but has come to love the Mexicans at Home Depot. She comes with me to get them and often partakes in the ceremonious after work beer with us. I think the fact that her mother was born in another country has given her a more open perspective on life. Although, she really can't sit on a pedestal either; she is afraid to get on public transportation, probably thinks I'm lazy (I don't think its because I'm Mexican though, I think its the fact she's lived with me for over 3 years) and in general doesn't like Asian drivers except for my friend Oliver (but he's a white Asian so that doesn't count).
So if you need help on figuring out how to get Mexicans at Home Depot, I am somewhat of an expert. I have gotten Mexicans at Home Depot in San Diego, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and the Bay Area for all of my moves. Hopefully, I won't need them for another move as I hope to stay in the Bay for the rest of my life, but I will continue to use them for any other work that I am not good at or that I don't want to do.
My initial idea for MexicansatHomeDepot.com was to start an online labor marketplace where people could post projects, then I would have the Mexicans at Home Depot bid on them and the lowest bidder would get the job. I figured I would get into a bit of trouble with the INS and other local, state, and federal authorities so I decided on the blog instead. Oh well.
First off, I do not want you to think that I am a person of complete acceptance and understanding of all ethnicities. This blog is not intended as a platform for me to tell everybody that they are socially and ethnically inept. Quite the contrary, I have learned a lot through friendships and experiences, and am looking to learn more about myself and others. I have been extremely comfortable with Hispanics because I grew up in a community where more than 80% of the population was Hispanic. Before leaving the El Paso/Juarez area, I was prejudice towards other ethnicities and sexual orientations (blacks, Asians, gays, Indians, etc). Luckily by moving away from that area, I understood what it really was like to be a minority because for the first time I was one. I have since met all different types of people and have made great friends that are helping me in eliminating my current prejudices.
I’m getting tired - this is the most of written since college and the basketball games are about to start.
I have one more random thought that I still have not been able to answer myself: I love the U.S. and everything that it has offered me. I went to school here, I work here, and I am an actual American citizen. Why is it then that every time that Mexico plays the U.S. in soccer, I find myself in the cheap seats hanging out with all the Mexicans from Home Depot waving the Mexican flag and drinking the tallboys that we snuck into the stadium?
We’ll talk next week….. Your gracious host,
The White Mexican
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